I’m sure you’ve read about it, or at least seen it from your feeds. It was a recurring topic with my friends (online and off) on Facebook; the title was quite an eye catcher as well. I clicked on it and halfheartedly skimmed through the two-paragraph essay. By the end of it, I was crying. It hit me hard and clear.
What is my dream? Where is my passion?
Let me narrate my daily life. Forgive the dry storytelling; there’s nothing interesting to say except for those small gleams of victory over work.
I start every weekday with a half asleep self and a flat motivation to move about. I wake up at 4 AM, snooze my phone a couple of times until I notice an hour’s gap between my last nap attempt, and do the usual rounds in the bathroom. I scrimmage for my stuff, put on decent office clothes and set off. During that one and a half hour to work, I catch some sleep. I clock in at 8, sometimes 7.30, do my make up and browse through emails piled up from last night. I open my Google Feeds for my daily leisure reading. At 9 AM, I work. In between, I answer to internal queries and do my reports. I pass what I have by 5.30, log out, bid my friends farewell, and walk down until I reach the bus terminal. By 6.30 earliest, I’m on my way back home. Two hours after (plus naps to fill in the gap), I’m already in Cavite. A couple of hours through the night, before I know it, I was already up and about for my next work day.
It’s a vicious cycle and you lose a little bit of yourself everyday. Ask me now and I wouldn’t know what I want for my self five years from now. Ironically, I haven’t thought about it, not the least bit. I look at my social feeds and cringe in envy over dreams and achievements. At the end of the day, there’s no one to blame for the situation but me. What are my plans, what were them?
I’m keeping a blog to keep my sanity at bay, and my dreams (whatever, wherever they are) in constant motion. There needs to be a starting point to build the base, and to fulfill plans as reality.
My fingers are crossed for greater things.